Post by pimsbury on Aug 26, 2022 21:06:52 GMT
Hey guys, I decided to start a separate movie thread dedicated to bad movies.
It didn't feel fair polluting the normal movie thread with my dumpster tier taste in 1990's trash films.
I recently watched this amazing pile of turds called Hard Ticket to Hawaii directed by Andy Sidaris.
I bought the movie immediately after reading the title and seeing the movie still below.
In fact I have two copies because I found the entire Andy Sidaris collection for about $5 two days later.
If you don't know who Andy Sidaris is, you're in for a treat. His films feel like they were all written by dimwitted and horny teenagers. Every movie is baked with the same ingredients: boobs, poorly preformed martial arts, guns, explosions, wrestlers, diamonds/jewels, boats, more boobs, remote controlled cars. The acting is always amazingly bad and the nudity is completely random. He actually has one movie with a Scooby Doo style ending, where the good guys demask the villain!
The plot boils down to an incident where some evil bad guy on a boat is trying to smuggle diamonds into Australia via a remote control helicopter to avoid import fees. The two main characters of the movie, Donna and Taryn, stumble upon the helicopter and take the diamonds and are chased throughout the movie by thugs trying to reclaim the diamonds for the crime lord.
In the first scene where they find the diamonds, they get attacked by some thugs but quickly dispatch them with a ninja star and nunchucks. Then Donna and Taryn run back to their home base to inspect the diamonds - with their tops off in a hot tub.
It turns out, Donna is an undercover DEA agent, and that's to be expected with an Andy Sidaris movie since every single movie has some woman working undercover and about 50% of the time they will say the same line "I'm working undercover, DEEP undercover"- whatever that means. It turns out that the bad guy is also a drug lord so Donna and Taryn team up with some guys from the Agency named Rowdy and Jade.
Here's Rowdy with his weapon of choice.
Since Donna and Taryn run a shipping business, there is a subplot involving a giant snake who is "infected with cancer toxins". The snake shows up intermittently throughout the movie, ending with this amazing scene below.
Be prepared for a LOT of bazooka and nunchuck action through out the movie, but for some reason nobody uses nunchucks like you would expect. They just throw them at people or clobber them over the head. It's absurd how many sets of nunchucks you see in the movie and they aren't used appropriately once. Imagine if a movie had guns everywhere and the heroes and villains just hit each other over the heads with them.
You can find this movie for free in many places including Tubi and Youtube I believe, but here's a montage of most of the best scenes - although half of the appeal of Andy Sidaris movies is random nudity and terrible acting.
It didn't feel fair polluting the normal movie thread with my dumpster tier taste in 1990's trash films.
I recently watched this amazing pile of turds called Hard Ticket to Hawaii directed by Andy Sidaris.
I bought the movie immediately after reading the title and seeing the movie still below.
In fact I have two copies because I found the entire Andy Sidaris collection for about $5 two days later.
If you don't know who Andy Sidaris is, you're in for a treat. His films feel like they were all written by dimwitted and horny teenagers. Every movie is baked with the same ingredients: boobs, poorly preformed martial arts, guns, explosions, wrestlers, diamonds/jewels, boats, more boobs, remote controlled cars. The acting is always amazingly bad and the nudity is completely random. He actually has one movie with a Scooby Doo style ending, where the good guys demask the villain!
The plot boils down to an incident where some evil bad guy on a boat is trying to smuggle diamonds into Australia via a remote control helicopter to avoid import fees. The two main characters of the movie, Donna and Taryn, stumble upon the helicopter and take the diamonds and are chased throughout the movie by thugs trying to reclaim the diamonds for the crime lord.
In the first scene where they find the diamonds, they get attacked by some thugs but quickly dispatch them with a ninja star and nunchucks. Then Donna and Taryn run back to their home base to inspect the diamonds - with their tops off in a hot tub.
It turns out, Donna is an undercover DEA agent, and that's to be expected with an Andy Sidaris movie since every single movie has some woman working undercover and about 50% of the time they will say the same line "I'm working undercover, DEEP undercover"- whatever that means. It turns out that the bad guy is also a drug lord so Donna and Taryn team up with some guys from the Agency named Rowdy and Jade.
Here's Rowdy with his weapon of choice.
Since Donna and Taryn run a shipping business, there is a subplot involving a giant snake who is "infected with cancer toxins". The snake shows up intermittently throughout the movie, ending with this amazing scene below.
Be prepared for a LOT of bazooka and nunchuck action through out the movie, but for some reason nobody uses nunchucks like you would expect. They just throw them at people or clobber them over the head. It's absurd how many sets of nunchucks you see in the movie and they aren't used appropriately once. Imagine if a movie had guns everywhere and the heroes and villains just hit each other over the heads with them.
You can find this movie for free in many places including Tubi and Youtube I believe, but here's a montage of most of the best scenes - although half of the appeal of Andy Sidaris movies is random nudity and terrible acting.
hope you are ok dude
